Monday 15 March 2010

Sad Acts...


Rob and Mandy Offord seem to be a really nice couple, oozing with sympathetic charm.

Well if you've seen them sober that is.

For the other 23 hours 45 minutes a day, they are vile drunken lushes, who play on Mandy's invisible disability to gain sympathy from nearly everyone they meet.

Mandy and her best friend, Tanya the Slut Lumby, meet up regularly at various licenced establishments in Birmingham but have been banned from every pub in Hall Green, Acocks Green, Sheldon and Shard End.

The main cause of this is the ability of Mandy to drink 20 pints of Special Brew and still be able to stagger. The only time her wheelchair is needed is after the 20 pints have caused her to become paralytic.

Rob too loves a drop of juice, normally Kestrel 9% in cans, he can usually down around 15 to 20 before he loses the ability to stay upright...

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